CK Corner

i would get into some trouble for blogging this..
but i'll face it..

i've been smoking for the past 4 months..
but i've stopped recently, about 2 days ago..

i dunno what others feel when they smoke, but ill tell what i feel when i smoke..

how did i started smoking?
back when i was in form3, i learn to smoke, but fail...keep coughing..lol!tht time i know, just wanna try how it is..
n thn, in form5, i tried again, n i successed this time..i mean, i know how to smoke already..
but i didnt take up smoking..tht was just trying..
one thing funny is, when i smoke tht time, i get high easily..i feel dizzy..lke taken sum big drug lidat..my fren all laughed at me tht time..

to me, smoking affects ur health n makes ur life shorter is one thing..but when the time comes, it comes rite???
so, i dn relli bother about life shortening..
but im not into smoking is cz of the money...wasting money...
so i've told ppl, i wont smoke, no money to smoke la..

so i became a social smoker..i only smoke when i go to clubs.just to get high..nonit to pay for the drinks, just ask one or 2 sticks from my fren, i can get high d..hahaha!
but i dont go clubbing often, the last time i went was like.CNY 2006?

until she(MeiYee) left me..i became a smoker..daily smoker..
i have sleepless nights tht time..feeling depress, cant sleep n all..
thn i would tk my bro's cig n smoke...n thn i get dizzy, n sleep well..
funny way ya? but tht's how it was!!!
i was lost..

a stick per night, i start gettng my own pack of cigs..
n it slowly adds 3 days a pack...14 sticks per pack..
thn i get used to it, i dont feel dizzy anymore..but i still cant take realli heavy ones..
it became a habit, n from habit, it became an addict..
i start smoking when im waiting for sumthing, appointment, bus,trains n all..it became a habit..
thn i got addicted to it, i smoke a pack per day...

i feel that cig is a new fren to me..when im down, i let go off my depression on him..my stress n all..k, i sound abit crazy now..but tht's how it is..
i feel tht his always there for me when i need him..hahaha!!
just like a fren la..a new fren..who replaced her..

recently, i tried to quit smoking..
look at the amount of money i've spent on it man..i could've bought comics for each packs i bought..at least i can do research wif the comics i buy..haha!!
n my frens have been asking me to quit n all..
so i tried...it was so hard..trust me..i threw away the box, left 1 cig inside only anyway..haha!!
the next day, i feel so uncomfortable...like something's missing..but i controlled myself...
until night..
i went for dinner wif my frens..i cant tahan d..i went n get a pack..

d next day, i gave tht pack to a fren,who is a smoker...
i gave it to him, inside still left alot...but b4 i passed it to him, i tk 1 stick out 1st..hahaha!!
n tht was my last stick..i promise..
until now, i havent touch any of those..but i felt as though i've lose a "fren"...
but i'd rather lose this "fren" than losing my other frens im having now =)

it's 4am now..i've got class at 9am..
cant sleep..alot in my mind..assignments, projects, daily expenses, stuffs to buy...iskk
dn worry, i wont smoke to sleep again this time..hehe
cz it doesnt make me dizzy anymore!!

if any of my siblings are reading this, i hope u understand me.
it's not something i want, i was just lost tht time
sound stupid, but it is.