aftr 3 1/2months v broke up, i finally hear her voice again, today...

i woke up this morning from a dream, a dream tht she came back..
yea..i dream of this again..
n i woke up, i felt again tht she left me once more..
thn i went to coll..

reach coll, PY saw me..n he casked me to accompany him, he's waiting for his gf for 3hrs d..respect him..hehe..
anywya, since thr's still an hr b4 my class starts, i went n accompany him n keng kai in his car..
he said he's calling her,MeiYee, to ask bout something..he'll on the loud speaker, n i'll stay quiet, dn let her know im wif him..so he called..

the moment i hear her saying "hello", my heart melts...i mean like..u know..i dunno im happy or sad tht time..
she jz woke up tht time..i miss her voice so much..n especially when she wakes up tht time..
i remember, once, when we're still 2gether,she woke up n straight she called me..she said tht she dreamt tht i left her, n she feel's so scared tht time n all..
but actually..the one who should feel scared is me..it turns out she left me..

so, i was listening to PY n her chit chatting..
tears started to come out..i feel so...i dunno..

PY saw me wiping my tears, n he start to like say ByeBye to her..but i asked him to continue..
her voice din change..but she's sick..n she's very happy wif "him" now..

there's a part PY jokingly saying tht she breaks up wif "him" n she said "we will never break 1...hehehe"
tht's very poisonous to me..haha..PY straight look at my expression n chnage the topic..aftr awhile, thy hang up..

PY told me this "cried also u cried b4 edi..suicide also u try b4 edi..but if the God doesnt allow u to die, u have to go on wif ur life..."

yes, i know all these..n tht's wat i'm doing rite now..

2day, i felt very down, depressed..no mood to do my work..cant concentrate..after the call..
i start to miss her...again...

there's a song i would like to introduce to u all, in case u havent heard of it b4..
its Secondhand Serenade - Your Call..
this song is slow and sorta emo, but i thk it's nice...
heard the singer is leng chai 1..dunno la..hehe..but his other songs r also nice..try it, no harm =)

trip to Sydney..im looking for ppl who wanna buy the tic..i mean, ticS..wanna sell both ticS cz im not going.. =)

y am i not going? 2 reasons..
#1 - non of my family members wanna go..
#2 - wanna sell 1 tic to fren n i'll go wif him/her, but none of my frens wanna buy..if go free, thy ok..hahahah!!!
ps : nothing's free k!!!!

so, i'm selling both..interested, gimme a call or message me ya..

if any of u dn mind BUYing a tic from me n go wif me, it's alrite!!i'm ok wif it...
i also haven been thr b4 actually..
but i got go din go also nvm 1 la..im still young, lotsa chances in the future..hope so..hahaha!!

it's 2.32am...
n i just got back from coll...since i left the hse at 11am 2day...
arggg!!!
guess this is what they call The One Academy..
but actually i also have been accumulating assignments...
hahaha!!

God bless me

Im' shot through the heart and you're to blame,
You gave love a bad name...
I played my part, and you played your game,
You gave love a bad name....

this time, i really let it go already...(i hope so)
i din feel as shitty as b4..recently..hehehe
mayb im obsessed with Maple Story???hahaha!!!
it's an online game, for those who dont know..
i'm so obsess with it..dunno why..lol!!1i would sit in front of the pc for 7 long hrs playing tht game..save me plz!!!
i will oni stop playing when thy suddenly announce tht u have to pay to play the game(jz like RO last time)
but my fren told me..thy wont charge u money in this game..hahaha!!

anyway, frens..i know u all seen me doing sumthg which i dont use to do n also dislike to do recently rite..
i know its stupid to say this..but seriously, it comes from depression..
but frens, i will stop..because..when there's a will, there's a way... =)

ok, the Aquaria Mascot Design is going to be lauch in 10th September 2006..
thts wat thy told me la..
im actually kinda "malu" to show the design to the public..wat if the people dn like it?n start criticising it..n my name in the design industry...will be gone..no future..
hahahahaha!!!
ok, where's my confident!!!!but seriously, i know my own standard la..im not ChentCheat,Stephanie n all..(my classmates) remember my 1st figure drawing??hahahaha!!!
everyone luffed at it...ahahaha!!!

let's talk bout wta i did 2day...went to classn thn to th Curve to help my Advertising frens shoot an advertisement for their final project..thy are advertising for Pepsi "Tarik"...nice ar tht drink?havent try b4..
the whole shooting was nice i would say.
ningli asked her fren to dance for their advertisement..n she dance well n she had the "tarik" movement in 1 of the dance...n thts wat the ad is looking for..

i really hope the advertisement goes well n if possible, present it to Pepsi..hahaha!y not??u can try it out..
i thk i am too ke po to join them in their project..mayb thy also thk so edi..
"yer..y this ckin ar..DG go DG la..come kacau AD for wat...lan lan si si"
hahaha!!!i dunno...
but guys, ur project sounds interesting to me..if im too kepo, gave too much comments..sorry ya..hehe..do tell me if thr's anythg...

alrite, assignment time..or mayb Maple?HAHAHAHAHA

it's been 3months++ she left me..
she still din reply my sms n emails..she change fon d?i dunno...
the last thg i msg her was "Haze is around..drink more water to avoid falling sick.."
haha!i know it's stupid..who cares anyway~

i thought of this 2day..a lil bit stupid n all..but..nvm la..jz share..aahaha
i realise..break ups are so tiring..
when sumone break up, then he/she have to start all over again..
i mean u c, guy A go aftr galB..alot of "procedures"n "steps" are gone through to be 2gether wif each other rite?i mean, everyone knows that...
n thn, aftr awhile..breakup..
n guy A n gal B have to start all over again n go through the "procedures" n "steps" again..
ain't tht tiring???

but of cz..all of these depends on fate 1 la..diff ppl, diff feeling 1..
im jz looking at it..in a..."scientific" way i would say..hahaha
ok, im crapping over here..

in my next relationship, i must really treasure it..i've learned from my mistakes..
i want a long term relationship...
aiya..im still too young to think bout all this..
hahaha!!!

jz in the mood of crapping 2day..

i'm feeling so depress recently and also stressed out...

i'm depress because of her u know who,
n im stressed wif works...

i'm filled with not only college assignments and projects, but also with the mascot design refinements...besides, 2day i had another project briefing, for charity..design a souvenir for 51 guests...
i'm designated to be in a team of 5..n i'm the group leader..argggg...anyway, this project is for Merdeka...

how long can i hold?i ask myself..

but i know..if i give up now, i'm giving up my future...
so, i'm gonna continue fighting..

bout depression..guess i have to face it till..sumthg happen??

i dreamt that she came back..the dream is so real...so so real, n i dunno how to explain it..
i dreamts she came back, n the way i treated her was very different from before..i treasured her so much n same she did to me...

until i woke up..omg, tht feeling was so shitty...if can, i duwanna wake up..i wanna continue sleeping..i feel like i duwanna go back to reality..i wanna live in tht dream forever...
but..everyone knows..reality is reality..

so i got up, n i feel as if she left me once again...n tht feeling, is exactly how i felt when she 1st left me..i felt tht once again this morning..so sucky..
i wanna talk to someone, but i dunno who..cz i know thy'll jz tell me the same thing.."forget her la..haihz..."
i wnana hear something new....

now, im afraid to sleep..afraid to wake up..add-on my assignments n projects..i'm stressed out..
but i know what im doing.. =)

God bless me..

jz came back from Taylor's Intercoll Dance Competition..
great performances they have..but i actually prefer the 2nd n 3rd placing more to the 1st..
the 1st place 1..their dance kinda normal i c..to me la..im not a dancer, so, thts jz my opinion..
but the Emcee is the best i can say...damn entertaining!!

anyway, back to earlier 2day b4 goin for tht event..
was at Asia Cafe, meeting up wif Sean n frens..thn makan..
we're all chit chatting and suddenly heard some glass fell on the floor n "KLIANG!!"
it breaks.
it came from the table beside us

v turn n looked n v saw a gal took her drink(watermelon juice) n splash it on to the girl in front of her...her face was all watermelon then..
so tht gal stood up from her chair n shouted "so what the fuck now???"

man, look at these..GIRLS FIGHT again..world's changing..1st some skool students..n now some 20+ girls..actually there are more out thr la..

but u know wat's the worst??
thr are actually 2 guys wif these gals..at 1st 4 of them were siting n chit chatting also..
when the girls start to fight, the guys got up, n went to another table n sit n watch them!!OMG...thy call themselves guys????such a disgrace la..
b4 tht, 1 of them look like those "cool-cool" type 1..n he went off n sat on another table..crap la he...
as gentlemen or wateva, thy should actually calm those 2 gals down n all..but thy walked off n watch from another side..thy know each other k???

those guys seriously..disgrace la..dunno wat word to describe them..

anywya, those 2 gals really "wow"
thy stared at each other for about 5 mins n 1 of them walked off..this is what they call GIRL POWER...lol!!!now guys all quiet d..no fight d..wahahhaa!!new era man...

but still those 2 guys...haihz....

for ur info : the gals were both indians, n 1 chinese guy n 1 indian guy..oh ya, another indian gal was wif them also(din fight) n she din leave her place like the GUYS did...

ITALY won..yay~~~
jz because France beat Brazil, that's why i support Italy..akakaka
n i prefer spaghetti to french toast~
bwahahahaha
n Italy's jersey also chun~blue color..lol

finally i finished the refinements for the Aquaria mascot design..
alot of changes were actually made upon the management's request..




they asked me to change the jacket into a normal life jacket that v always c...
make the tail into a leg, remove one of the back fin, and remove the wrapper which used to be around the back fin..
so i change everythg according to what they want and here's the outcome..
i proposed 2 different life jackets for them..

as u can c, the different of both jackets is only the placing of the logo ..
i dunno which 1 would they prefer...
i also dunno which is better..
hahahah!

the ceremony to launch the mascot and prize giving will be held around end of August or September..so..just wait for their call..

still dunno who to go with to Sydney...but actually, if got go, din go also i dun care..go also no use..reach thr d..no money to spend also..hahahahaha
haihhhzzz~

Now the pictures that you left behind;
Are just memories of a different life;
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry;
And one that made you have to say goodbye..

What I'd give to keep my fingers running through your hair;
To touch your lips, and to hold you near;
When you say your prayers, try to understand;
I made mistakes, I'm just a man..

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near;
When he says those words you've been needing to hear;
I wish I was him, coz his words are mine;
To say to you till the end of time...

-always-

this post is bout the past 3 days which i did alot of thgs..hehehe

Wednesday,5th July 2006 - pakyin has a bbq party at his hse, sumthg like a gathering for the ex-classmates...i fast the whole morning n noon for tht bbq night..wahhaha!!they have fried mihun,sausages,fish,curry chicken, n chicken for bbq..
reach thr oni, i staright go EAT!!!!wahahhaha!!!n lotsa beers thy bought!!so i eat n drink,eat drink eat, drink...darn full..rest awhile..continue eating n drinking again...fattening giler...nvm..who cares~
aftr everyone's done, cleaning up n all, v went ss15 ta kei(DOTA)~

anyway, the interesting part is here..in the evening when im goin to meet up wif yjin to go pakyin's place there's this guy sitting beside me in the train..his hair until his neck thr,a lil bit dyed..wearing a car, tight shirt tight jeans..ok..i thk is a gay..but i dn mind gays anyway..it's ok for frens n all, but jz dn kacau me la..
ok..this while im reaching the destination, this guy who is sitting beside me since both of us enter the train suddenly ask me..."hey, what's the time??"
i was like "WHICH FCUKING EYES OF YOURS SEE ME WEARING A WATCH HUH???"
b4 tht i caught him staring at me 1 of a kind d..lol!! thn he continue asking me tht time n i told him again n again i dn have a watch...actually i can check the time thru my fon, but i duwanna continue a conversation will bring to dunno whr..obviously, u know his motive k..suddenly askin u wats the time while he's sitting beside u for the past 10 mins, staring at u like a kind n din notice tht i dn wear a watch??
anyway, he continue asking me where do i stay n where i study..
thank God, i reach Subang station d n quickly say Bye!!! n i fcuked off~tht was scary...
i love this pic alot..this is the only time when u c use look so so so serious n concentrating on sumthg..hahahaha!!!!


Thursday, 6th July 2006 - gotta attend a meeting wif the Aquaria KLCC ppl n a contractor who makes mascot costume..this meeting was at the Aquaria's office,UOA building..the 2nd prize winner was thr too..the contractor make mascot for Sunway Lagoon, A&W, n many more..
so the meeting is about the mecanism on making the mascot i design into a wearable costume..the 2nd proze winner's mascot has got no problem, cz his mascot is a turtle n a turtle has 2 hands n legs like a normal man..but when come to mind, the contractor was like "this is the one with some problems..its a shark..no leg.."
ahahha! luckily i did my homework b4 goin for meeting, i went n look for shark mascot costumes reference n tk some ideas from thr n show them during the meeting..so, it was ok..
i actyually need to change alot of things..the jacket especially..thy want the life jacket to be a more recognisable 1..so, yeah...i need to go back n re-do the whole mascot..altogether, thr are 6 different pieces i need to do n hand in by Monday...n my coll assignments..im so dead~ahahah!
but nvm..it's kinda fun..

Friday 7th July 2006 - went Aquaria KLCC wif Eng Ju~she's back from Aussie..so i ajak her la wanna go Aquaria anot..sionce i havent been thr b4 also..(funny huh, i win the thg but i haven been thr b4..haahah) but anyway, 2day went edi..it's also her 1st time thr..i am so impressed by the cylinder look aquarium..want to have a few in my hse in the future..looks cool..n the sting-ray..wah..damn yeng..n BIG...thy're like flying in the sea..thy gave me the character like thy are the patrols of the sea..lol!
anyway, 1 hr, kao tim edi...went makan ar Mdm. Kwan n thn to Kinokuniya..i cant find a good book bout Robots for reference which i need to use for my coming project...so, din buy anythg..thn accompany Eng Ju jalan jalan, buy things for her bf n all..i've known her for 5 years..this is our 1st time went out 2gether n took pics..HAHAHAHA!!!!weird...anyway, it's nice goin out wif her..she's those "what also ok" type of person..not yim chim la..
went starbucks n drink n balik rumah~oh ya..i saw the new Satria NEO 2day in KL Sentral..when i saw it in the banner, to me, it sucks..but when i saw the real 1 2day..i was "hey, not bad looking actually!!!" so, i also itchy itchy masuk the car n c c all la..hahaha!!mayb the color attracts me..metallic..like Satria GTI..i like Satria GTI anyway..

-yawn-

i'm in misery..
keep on thinking bout things i duwanna think about..
arggg~
someone plz help me...

-misery-

i was thinking 2day...
althought it's really happy to win in the contest..
but i want to share this with her...
so it's happy but no point if i can't share this feeling i have now with her..
haihz...
if we're still 2gether, things might turn out relli different..it's going to be a real happy thing..

n i thought..if i hadn't done the wrong things n said the wrong things to her tht time, things might also be different now..
if she's still with me..if she's still mine..if it's only IF....

anyway, i showed my work to my bro's fren, a designer now n he'd won many awards b4..n asked for his comments..
he said it's real nice, but the character gave him some doubts..
n he suggested me to change alil bit on the mascot..

so im gonna work on it already..
need to change a few things on the mascot..
brainstorming starts.....again..
hahaha!!

i still have a loooong way to go..this is only the beginning... =)

-peace-